Neighbourhood Idiots
by Blizzaris
Summary: Something had to be done about them. IkkiKazu


Oh mah Gawd, I'm alive! Liek no wai. So here's a random oneshot. No, I don't know where it came from, and I have just as much of an idea as to why it's set in WINTER. I hate winter –is basking in the long overdue heat-

An idea came to me today, and I _might_ – but don't get your hopes up – start on a short multichapter. Just a heads up in case you see it pop up… someday…

This is for mah darling Crimson Vixen, because she's so wonderful. I hope this meets your overly eager expectations… -cough-probablywon't-cough-

Dares seem to be a popular topic as of late (maybe it's just me?). I decided to hop on the bandwagon.

Disclaimer: YES. ...no, not really.

* * *

**Neighbourhood Idiots**

--

The mid-winter air caressed her face, crisp and fresh as it wafted through her open window. She rested her delicate elbows on the white sill and gazed out at the beatifically peaceful scene before her: sleeping homes, eyes shut for the night, were wrapped in thick blankets of glistening snow, smoke rising in unassuming drifts from the chimneys. The road, with its worn ruts down the centre, wound gently between the houses, not wishing to disturb their slumber. The moon was bright, the air was still…

"AHHHHH!! SHITSHITSHIT IT'S FREEZING!! I'M GONNA GET HYPOTHERMIA! LET ME IN!!"

… and one of the neighbours' idiot friends was running around in his underwear. The girl rolled her eyes and closed the window; the moment was broken. It was a unanimous thought among the other homeowners – that boy and his unruly friends were the bane of this respectable neighbourhood, gallivanting about at all hours, with not a care for the other residents trying their hardest to sleep through their racket. She snorted as she pulled the seal tight on the window to keep cold winds out. Something had to be done about them.

* * *

Oblivious to the looming threats of eviction directed at his friend from the surrounding houses, Kazu was pounding at the front door of Ikki's house because being locked out of the house after his dare was _not_ part of the agreement. And it was fucking _frigid_.

The door opened a crack, and Kazu prepared his mouth to spew forth a blistering reproach at the injustices of locking him outside at 2:30 in the freaking morning in the middle of winter, but before he could deliver such a speech, a hand darted out and tore off his second last article of clothing – his hat. Then the door slammed shut in his face for the second time that night. He could hear the idiotic laughter from his 'friends' roaring on the other side of the wood.

"OH _COME ON_, WHAT THE HELL!! NOW MY HEAD'S GOING TO FREEZE, AND I'LL _DIE_!! I HATE YOU GUYS _SO_ MUCH RIGHT NOW."

He pounded once more on the door in a last ditch hope that it would magically break open, but it didn't. He seethed, shivering. Stupid friends, stupid weather, stupid life… This was why he hated sleeping over at Ikki's. It always deteriorated into some twisted version of truth or dare, but Ikki didn't actually let people actually do truth, so everyone was just subjected to his ridiculous dares. Kazu's had been to run two laps around the house in nothing but his boxers. The only reason he agreed was because, well, he couldn't _not_ do what Ikki demanded of him, either in some perverse need to prove himself to the stupid crow or some compulsive form of loyal affection. He didn't really care to analyze his own brainless behaviours at the moment.

Rubbing his arms in a vain attempt to generate warmth, the blonde walked around the house, looking for an alternate way inside. He tried to make as little contact with the frozen ground as possible, resulting in doing some weird high-knee hopskip; he was beyond caring about his dignity at this point (whoever was watching had already seen him dash through the snow in his underwear, for God's sake), and his feet were starting to go numb from the biting cold. God, he hated the cold, wishing wistfully for his thick sweater. Some pants would be nice too.

He had gone around the back of the house and was thinking that the only way back inside was through a broken window when he heard feet crunching the snow, coming towards him. Turning towards the sound, he glowered at the face belonging to the approaching feet.

Ikki took in his bitter friend, where he was standing, and what he'd been looking at. He shot the blonde a reproving look.

"You were going to break a window? That's kinda drastic. And you would've had to pay for it, you know." Kazu bristled.

"Well you didn't leave me much choice!" He spat vehemently, half-moving to point an accusing finger at the brunette. Then he stopped, thinking better of it, leaving his arms crossed across his nearly naked body in some attempt to preserve heat. "Leaving me out here for half an hour to become an icicle!" His teeth chattered appropriately.

"It hasn't even been ten minutes, Kazu," Ikki pointed out, exasperated. He moved towards the jet, placing a warm hand on the other's bare stomach. Kazu flinched slightly but didn't object; the heat was nice. And not that he would admit it here, but he liked having Ikki's attention (and hands) on him.

"Jesus, you are cold."

"Well, no shit, Sherlock! Kind of your fault!" Kazu brushed past his leader, beelining for the front door. The sooner he was inside, the better; inside, where there were blankets and sweaters and heating…

"Hey come on, man, it was just a joke. Lighten up," Ikki nudged the blonde playfully. What happened next could have been attributed to a number of factors: Kazu's generally irritable mood, his desire to get back inside as quickly as possible, the unexpectedness of the crow's action, or even his numb feet. Whichever it was caused the boy to stumble, arms windmilling comically as he fell, unceremoniously and with a screech, into the snow.

"FUCK!! Ikki, you are the DEVIL! WHY THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT?! Augh, it's cold it's cold it's coooold!!" He scrambled upright, cursing and grimacing as he brushed the rapidly melting flakes off his skin. "My boxers are soaked, too!" He gave up trying to dry himself and went back to hugging his thin body, shivering, teeth a-chatter, breath smoking from his mouth and nostrils.

Ikki, on the other hand, was laughing; bent over, hands on his knees, flat out laughing. Kazu only glared fiercely at the brunette, wondering why the universe hated him so much. He spun on his frozen legs and stalked once more toward the door of his friend's house, muttering under his icy breath.

"Hey, Kazu," Ikki called after him, having gotten his laughter under control, at least for the most part. The blonde ignored him. "_Hey_." He grabbed his friend's cold arm, turning Kazu around to face him. The jet's eyes were still narrowed in a way that screamed, 'I'm so pissed off at you right now you don't even know, so let me go get warm, you ass'. Ikki, in typical Ikki fashion, completely disregarded the warning. "I'm sorry, okay?" The grin on his face suggested otherwise. "We were just having some fun." Kazu's expression hadn't changed. Ikki, not the best with words and not knowing how to actually apologize properly, leaned in and pressed his lips to the blonde's frozen ones instead.

In all honesty, Kazu could never stay mad enough at Ikki to refuse him anything, especially any sort of affection, kisses included. Not to mention Ikki's mouth was _warm_, and he really needed heat at the moment. So he not-so-grudgingly gave in, his annoyances falling away like the melted snow that rolled off his skin.

After a time Kazu never wanted to end (the crow's shows of affection were brief enough), the crow pulled away, taking with him his body heat. The blonde nearly threw himself on the brunette just to keep the intoxicating warmth he gave off, but he resisted, remembering he was supposed to be mad at his leader. His limbs also decided it was a good time to remind him of their lack of feeling and the fact that he was still outside, standing in the snow in his (now wet) boxers. He could just about feel his mood plummeting.

"You suck at apologizing," he huffed. Turning yet again, he set out once more for the house, determined to finish the trek, the dare, the whole stupid thing. "And that so does not make up for this dare!"

"Aw, come on, don't be bitter now," Ikki goaded, following his teammate through the snow.

"Oh yeah? I'm gonna make you stay out here for a day! A week! So then you'll know what I went through!"

"Kazu, a week doesn't compare to ten minutes out here–"

"Yeah? Well you deserve it!"

* * *

As their voices spiralled up through the otherwise tranquil night with the chimney smoke, more than one neighbour was roused enough from their sleep to make sure their windows were shut tight against the greatly unappreciated noise. Yes, something needed to be done about those boys.


End file.
